Channel Four Are Vicious Sadists
by Flitter
Summary: Harper, Tyr, Trance, Beka, Man Slut, and two added extras along for the ride.


Channel Four are Vicious Sadists  
  
A/N: Be kind, okay?  
  
"Okay, if I hold my breath for ten whole seconds, Channel Four will stop being sadistic and actually *show* Andromeda, it being the *Last in the series*!" Sara told the PTB seriously, hoping that they might fall for it.  
  
She switched on the TV, waiting for the adverts to end. As her ten seconds finished, she blew out, anxious to see Harper again. As the boring Channel four person said,  
  
'And up next, it's ', the phone rang.  
  
"Whoever is calling, I will kill you!" Sara screeched at the device as she picked up. She was under pain of death for avoiding phone calls, since Sissy, her older sister, who, yes *had* come up with that dumb nickname herself, was expecting calls for work.  
  
"Who's going to employ a blond who listed manicures as her favourite activity on her CV?" Sara grouched to herself. "Yes, hello, how can I help?"  
  
"If that's the way you answer the phone normally, and Twiggy is expecting to get a job, she's not," Josie told her.  
  
"Oh God, Josie, you know better than to call around four on a Sunday!" Sara yelled in exasperation.  
  
"Cool it, Harper head, it's not on," Josie told her, and wincing, held the phone away from her ear as Sara used every swearword she could think of.  
  
"I take it you're not impressed?" she asked, as Sara stopped, after she ran out.  
  
"NO, I am not," Sara, growled.  
  
"Then this isn't the best time to tell you that it's not on for the next two months, as Channel Four are showing Stargate instead?" Josie asked.  
  
"Oh nooooooo!" Sara groaned.  
  
"C'mon, Stargate! I mean, Jack's cute, right?' Josie coaxed.  
  
"Yeah, if you're a geriatric!" Sara groused. Josie fell silent. "Aww, I'm sorry, Jo, it's just that Channel Four have been mucking this about, and Sky One have already shown and you've already seen it so you're not helping. You're fancying Jack has nothing to do with this."  
  
Jo seemed to consider a second, then unfroze.  
  
"Okay, chica, but be careful what you say when you're in Harper withdrawal," she teased. "Now, what are you going to wear to the Christmas thing?"  
  
The friends chatted, and when Sara hung up, she was left with a vague bored feeling.  
  
Thanks Channel Four! She thought sarcastically. Turning back to the TV, she pulled an old tape of cartoons out, and sat and watched that.  
  
Sara wasn't beautiful, or amazingly talented. She had a gift of sarcasm, reasonable writing skills, and shoulder length auburn hair that frizzed when it rained. Her one favourite feature were her big green eyes, but, as she often commented ruefully,  
  
"Big baby greens do not a size 6 make."  
  
She was a perfect size 10, and happy to be that way, until a day came in the calendar she saw her friends in their own clothes.  
  
But anyway, she watched cartoons until the sun went down, but it being winter, was reasonably early.  
  
What could be more fun than watching Monarch of The Glen, with mum, and pretend she's not watching it to see Archie in a kilt? She wondered, again with sarcasm. Winter half term meant that anyone with a trust fund, i.e., her friends, hopped on a plane, and were in the Swiss mountains before you could say first class. And she, deprived of trust fund, and Harper, was stuck doing nothing. Well, there was homework, but only a masochist would do that the first weekend!  
  
"Um, Jo, do you want to come over? And bring Andromeda videos with you?" she said sheepishly into the phone half an hour later.  
  
  
  
  
  
Fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang.  
  
"Please tell me the entire evening isn't Buffy, Angel or Andromeda orientated?" Josie pleaded. Sara blushed.  
  
"Fine. But I draw the line at pausing the tape so you can stare at Harper's quote' nice piece of ass' end quote," Josie sighed.  
  
  
  
"Ya know," Sara said companionably, somewhere in Buffy season five, "We're both almost eighteen. We should be above this."  
  
"And we're not. Shame on us. Bad us. Rewind the tape. Spike's naked," Josie said, through a mouthful or tortilla chips.  
  
"Oooh, look!" Sara squealed. Having ingested a large proportion of refined sugar in the last three hours, she was diving off the hyper end of the scale.  
  
"Remind me never to *ever* to give you sugar again," sighed Josie. "What?"  
  
"Shooting star. Make a wish!" Sara giggled like a six year old.  
  
"I mean it, never," Josie told her. Once again, the six-year-old side of Sara played up, as she pouted.  
  
"Chica, that's not pretty, and, oh, okay, I'll make a wish," she sighed.  
  
"Cool! Me first!" Sara cried gleefully.  
  
"Oh God," Jo thought out loud.  
  
"I wish I could see the Andromeda crew for real, and kiss my dream guy!" Sara said aloud.  
  
I wish I could get a decent boyfriend that Caroline doesn't steal thought Josie ruefully, musing about the skanky blond at her school that delighted in sleeping with everything that zipped at the crotch.  
  
"I wished," she announced. Sara and Josie watched the shooting star wink out of existence.  
  
"You do realise we just wished on a ball of burning gas that died a thousand years ago, don't you?" Josie said matter-of-factly. Sara slapped her arm lightly.  
  
"Oh, *Jo*!" she sighed good-naturedly, as they started hitting one another with pillows.  
  
  
  
Harper and Tyr were walking down the corridor in Andromeda, after Rommie had buzzed them that something was inside the ship, that shouldn't be.  
  
"Not Magog, Harper, don't worry," Rommie-bot had said wryly. Harper had grinned.  
  
"I wasn't," he lied, as Tyr picked up a weapon, and tested it in his hand.  
  
"Over compensating for something?" he asked, gesturing at the huge sized weapon. Tyr gave him a look.  
  
"Harper, normally that look means shut up," Rommie told him.  
  
"Thanks Rom-doll, I'll keep that in mind,' he told her, while grabbing a weapon. "Let's go kick some non- Magog ass!" he crowed. Tyr again looked at him.  
  
"Strange little man," he muttered.  
  
They turned into the next twist of the corridor.  
  
"Is that what I think it is?" Harper asked in disbelief.  
  
"It appears to be two females who are unconscious," Tyr replied.  
  
"So what, Tyr, confess you sneaked two of your buddies on board, we'll kick their asses, and they'll be no more said about it, " Harper cracked.  
  
"They appear to be waking up," Tyr said, lifting an eyebrow.  
  
A/N: Okay, how was it? Pllleeeeeeeease tell me, cos I need to know! 


End file.
